» Flyers Talk: Knife Guy Wins Again Barstool Sports: Philly

Let me tell you about the knife sharpening guy from work. Knife Guy is a Devils fan. Knife Guy comes in on Tuesdays to give us new knives, and sharpen our old ones. And every Tuesday he comes in with his weathered old Devils hat, an NHL Shop red Devils pullover, with his silver dookie rope Devils necklace hangin out his hoodie with the big old Silver Devils pendant blinging all over my face…and he grins at me. And he grins at me with that pompous 1996 glare as I hand him his seven dollars. He’s mentally shaking his gloves at me, and I can’t say shit. I just say, “Yo, what’s up man.” and he hands me the bill and leaves. If the Flyers don’t win tonight against the shitty fuckin Capitals, and I gotta see his tiny Irish face, with those beady little eyes smiling at me from under his stupid hat, that’s it, I’ve had it. I’m totally paying him in nickels.

Bryz said it best before the home and home series against the Devils started last night; win these two games and you’re back in it, lose them and that’s it, you’re done — Death Penalty. Behind by four points to the Devils in the division, a win last night would have been major league big titties. But that didn’t happen. One down, and inevitably one to go. It’s not that I don’t want the Flyers to win, I do, especially against the Devils. I can’t stand losing to the Devils. Losing to the Devils feels like a cold squish in my heart. As much as it pains me to say, I just don’t think we can beat them. But whatya gonna do?

Our team stinks this year. That’s all there is to it. We should all just probably admit that out loud now. Got no jam out there, it’s just all chunky peanut-butter and bread. No milk. I never think it’s okay to tank a season for draft picks, so I expect the same levels of competition win or lose. And honestly, the Flyers haven’t even been playing poorly. But when you constantly out work teams and still lose, that means your team sucks. And that’s what’s going on with the Flyers right now. Just dumb fuckin hockey all over the place.

Knife Guy wins again. Look at him… he loves it.

By realanonymous posted March 14th, 2013 at 1:05 PM

10 Responses to Flyers Talk: Knife Guy Wins Again

by Make You Humble on March 14th, 2013 at 1:30 PM

Flyers suck, Devils suck, cool story bro.
by queen lundqvist on March 14th, 2013 at 1:44 PM

How has he not stabbed you yet?
by tommypickles on March 14th, 2013 at 1:45 PM

I wish the Devils could play like they do against the Flyers against the rest of the league.
by crosbysbrain on March 14th, 2013 at 1:48 PM

I thought Claude Giroux was the best in the world? He is showing his true colors right now. Can't pull his team out of a slump, cries in post games, and not producing. Enjoy the golfing!
by yoyoma69 on March 14th, 2013 at 1:52 PM

What makes you think this will change? Knife guy has been winning since 1995.
by ferrarimn7 on March 14th, 2013 at 1:57 PM

SICK Devils necklace dude, when's your 9th birthday party?
by spit out my coffee jew on March 14th, 2013 at 2:08 PM

Do you even watch the games asshole? They haven't out worked anyone lately. For a few minutes here and there maybe, but the devils were skating circles around them last night. Biggest game of their season last night and they come up w a gutless performance. Please stop writing about the flyers, you know nothing about hockey (a few weeks ago you said they must trade for iginla...you must be half a retard to say something like that)
by njdevils11 on March 14th, 2013 at 2:41 PM

Lets go NEW JERSEY!! More sellouts this season than the rangers.
by teddibiase on March 14th, 2013 at 3:52 PM

bro, did you see the toe drag though?!! my god the Devils look like Gods against the Flyers. WITH HEDBURG in net!!!! Someone throw Simmons a basketball please.
by shovelhead on March 14th, 2013 at 4:48 PM

Game was over after Kovy smoked that shorthander by Bryzgalov to make it 3-1

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Flyers Talk: Knife Guy Wins Again

10 Responses to Flyers Talk: Knife Guy Wins Again

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